For some people, the 14th of February is an exciting opportunity to spend an entire day with a special someone. For others, however, this annual celebration of love is an obnoxious reminder of their single status. If you relate to the latter group, let this article be your challenge to direct some of that dormant love to yourself this Valentine’s Day!
As we transition out of our carefree childhood to adulthood, expectations from society, family members, and even ourselves escalate dramatically. These expectations often feel out of reach, triggering feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing. It goes without saying that self-hatred has detrimental impacts on our lives, from our ability to overcome obstacles to the quality of our interpersonal relationships. We should all be working toward loving ourselves, but it might be tricky to know where to start. So, here are three practical tips to aid you on this journey.
Positive Affirmations
I used to think positive affirmations were cringey, silly, and even a little narcissistic- and maybe they are- but they actually work! When you tell yourself positive statements about yourself, such as “I grow and improve every day,” “I forgive myself,” and “I deserve love and respect,” you reinforce a positive image of yourself and reduce negative self-talk. Start by writing down, listening to, or vocally repeating these positive affirmations. Everyone has their own values and priorities; you just have to figure out what works for you. If you can’t seem to find anything online that feels right for you, try coming up with some on your own! It may feel awkward at first, but that’s because these affirmations take some time to internalize. It’s nice to do these in the morning to keep them in your mind throughout the day.
Celebrating Small Wins
Every day is filled with small wins that are often overlooked. Some examples include eating a nutritious meal, making it through a busy day, clearing your desk, etc. Celebrating our mini accomplishments allows us to feel proud of ourselves, boosting our mood and motivation. There are many ways to celebrate these wins, but my favorite is this adorable app called “Finch” (not sponsored). It allows me to set habits I want to work on, like making my bed or taking my vitamins. In this app, you have a little virtual bird who encourages you and celebrates these wins with you! Some alternatives are keeping track of your small achievements in a journal or telling a friend or family member about them to celebrate.
Whatever makes you happy!
This one may seem obvious, but doing the things that are meaningful to you strengthens your self-love. Shelby Shaw, a sixteen-year-old girl from Colorado, shares her journey with self-love in her hometown newspaper. She describes how she struggled with her appearance in middle school and how playing basketball granted her confidence, self-acceptance, and, in turn, self-love. Now, basketball may not be your thing. It could be as simple as listening to your favorite artist or doing your skincare routine. Your activities should also align with your values. If you are passionate about serving others, maybe sign up to volunteer at a homeless shelter. If you are religious, you could help out at your place of worship. Do the things that make you proud of yourself!
You might be thinking that you don’t have time for this, or that this is all a waste of time. But taking care of yourself is never a waste of time. In fact, loving yourself will benefit nearly every aspect of your life in the long run, including your health, academics, and relationships with others. As Angela Santomero puts it, “Self-love is necessary for a functional and successful life.”