Beep! Beep! Beep! My phone alarm rouses me, to, alas, another beautiful morning at the Taft School. Snow blankets the ground and rests on tree branches like a scene out of a postcard. “What a beautiful day to use TikTok,” I thought as I gleefully typed in my phone password. The morning of January 19th, 2025, was just like any other day… or so that is what I thought. Little did I know, Tikok had failed to comply with U.S. Congress, and its Chinese conglomerate, Byte Dance, refused to sell the company. Per usual, I reached for my phone to check my social media. I open Instagram; then Snapchat; and then last but certainly not least TikTok—my favorite of them all. Then, the funniest thing happened, a message appeared on my screen that read: “Sorry, TikTok isn’t available right now.” “Haha – that’s a good one,” I thought, “whichever intern okayed this is in for it.” But when I tried to click out to the ForYouPage for my instant hit of dopamine, the unimaginable happened: I couldn’t access my FYP. “What? No, this can’t be!” I thought.
But, alas, no matter how many times I clicked on the app, I was barred from entering my oasis of instant gratification. What was this heinous violation of my rights!? Last time I checked, it was my civil duty as an American to spend as much time as possible on my phone. As I researched further, I learned that the Federal Government had deemed TikTok a threat to National Security, and a law had been signed in April of 2024 stating that if Byte Dance (Tiktok’s Chinese Parent Company) did not sell TikTok within 270 days, the app would be banned in the US. Apparently, our foreign adversaries having access to the data of 170 million Americans sounded off some alarms in Washington. Before I had time to grieve the loss of my favorite app and singular hobby, reality dawned on me: what was I supposed to do with my newly found 18 hours of free time?
I contemplated replacing my designated TikTok time with Instagram Reels, but something about it just wasn’t the same. I then toggled with the idea of trying YouTube shorts instead but ultimately reached the same conclusion. As a last resort, I decided it was time to go outside, seeing as I hadn’t since I downloaded the app back in 2020. I opened Centen’s doors and stepped into the sunlight. The rush of the cold air and powdery snow beneath me was pleasant, but, to be honest, was nowhere near as good as the sensation of scrolling through my highly curated feed. Those days were behind me, though. It was time to find something to do, a productive hobby that was a net good for society… setting my VPN location to Brazil! Unfortunately, my brilliant idea was shattered because it turns out a functional VPN is quite expensive, and after spending the last of my money on TikTok Shop, I lacked the funds for exorbitant spending. I sighed and realized that all my efforts were in vain, there was no hope of filling the Tiktok-shaped hole in my heart. I would have to resort to boring hobbies, like reading or math or whatever people who don’t have TikTok do for fun. Then, for old times’ sake, I clicked on the app once more. To my elation, it opened up, with the message: “Welcome Back!” My prayers were answered! The stress of finding a new hobby that didn’t include watching 32-part storytimes was over! I retreated to the safety of my bed, and spent the remainder of the day on th e blessed app, making up for all the precious screen time I lost.
