It has been a long semester so far, but it’s always hard to believe exams are around the corner…again! Last year, we—Maya and Louisa—strategically positioned ourselves beneath snow-blanketed treetops with a dazzling view of frozen Potter’s Pond (because, of course, we restrict our studying to cinematic environments) and shared a confident smile. This week would be one for the books—or so we thought. We were completely unaware of the chaos about to unfold.
We’ve outlined our schedule so you can feel better about your study habits. As it turns out, exam week has a way of turning the healthiest students into health center regulars and eroding any shred of academic confidence you have. So, for the sake of honesty, here’s how our week went, step by step. Buckle up!
December 11, 2024. 8:03 AM—You told yourself the night before that you would get up at 7:30 to really stimulate your brain for the 8:30 exam. Well, it’s 8:03 and once more, the snooze button wins. As you try to extend your sleep by nine minutes, the slight movement makes you realize how sick you feel. Resigned, you roll out of bed and open your drawer for the only “breakfast” available: a Twix and a Mountain Dew, since you missed breakfast by three minutes. Hoping to rectify a bit of a rocky start, you throw on your lucky sweatshirt and, ignoring the large stain, groggily walk to your first exam.
8:30 AM—The exam begins, and immediately it dawns on you how little you know. The words on the page might as well be in another language, but your language exam isn’t until tomorrow. “What caused the Civil War?” …wait, what? You stare at the question a little longer and try to summon some knowledge from your last-minute cram session, but it’s gone. You have a momentary panic but quickly settle into the realization that maybe a Taft 40 isn’t so bad after all, and you can take the next hour to catch up on the sleep you probably missed last night.
12:45 PM—Post-exam, you begin to regain control. You reorganize your entire Google Drive, delete unnecessary emails, and color-coordinate your Chrome tab groups. Eventually, you even watch a study vlog: “EVERYTHING You Need to Know for the Exam (Trust Me Bro).”
2:17 PM—You run into a friend at the library and spend a good 15 minutes whispering about everything except exams. Work is technically happening…just not by you. Inspired by your collective brilliance and a podcast you listened to last week, the two of you decide to go for a “walk to appreciate the mundane,” because apparently being outside helps with something called your “working memory,” whatever that means. It feels like you have discovered the secret to exam success, so you return to the library feeling a little less guilty.
4:11 PM—After all this, you decide it’s finally time to lock in. You smile smugly as you settle in, confident that the next few hours will be ones akin to a satisfactory montage: equations and light-bulb moments that will readily prepare you for the tedious exams ahead. However, you do feel a little fatigued as you wonder what delta X and velocity have to do with photosynthesis, but you shrug it off as post-study fry. Little do you know, biology is your next exam, not physics.
8:30 PM—The librarian gives you some stern glances and nicely tells you to leave. Your sneezes might have just been a little too loud. Anyway, you’ve studied just enough to feel like a semi-responsible human, so it’s officially time for the non-negotiable, well-deserved break you promised yourself. Returning to your room, you collapse into bed, fully aware that “resting your brain” mostly consists of doom-scrolling TikTok and Instagram reels.
11:48 PM—It’s been a long day. The runny nose is intensifying, and you’re relying on the singular sip of water you’ve had to heal your ailments. By tomorrow. When you have a biology exam. Not a physics one. Your sigh is interrupted by the building congestion in your nose as you roll around your dirty sheets, but somehow, you close your eyes with satisfaction, knowing no matter what, tomorrow’s exam day couldn’t be any worse. Everything you decide is definitely not okay.
